One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
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