i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
