eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
