I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize