i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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