90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
