Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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