I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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