drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
