that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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