cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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