Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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