Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize