He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
We have started to decorate penises.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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