Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
