i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
