No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
