those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
how does that bad decision feel?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
