Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
