Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
