O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
We had sex on a dog bed..
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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