I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
