Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize
