you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
