THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
