Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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