so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
