im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize