oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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