I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
She has the best kind of daddy issues
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
