She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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