I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
So apparently I’m into choking now
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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