I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize