He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
