me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
