Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
