Don't you send me to vm
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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