You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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