why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize