Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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