Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
