so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
