not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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