Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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