Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Small penises have feelings too.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I supernannyed him into submission
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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