Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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