Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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