Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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