He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
