If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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