You made me cry and you don't even care
Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
These tits shall not be calmed
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Randomize
