We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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