I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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