Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
