I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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