I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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