ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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