It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
